I had a conversation with someone the other day about love. Specifically relationships and the ways in which we can choose to nurture them when the ‘honeymoon’ phase wears off. It got me thinking about my past relationships and the ways in which I have always failed to do the work after those initial butterflies wore off.
So what does it all mean? How are we supposed to know whether or not something is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for us? How do we make the distinction between what it feels like to fall out of love and what it feels like to be in a relationship that just takes work? When do we stick around and keep fighting, and how? When do we say goodbye?
I wish I knew the answers to these questions, but as usual, I’m just as clueless as anyone else. I know that love can be really painful and walking away is sometimes even harder than staying. I don’t know how we’re supposed to know which relationships are worth the extra effort, and which ones just aren’t right. I don’t know whether or not it really matters either way, or if its just all about making the choice to stick around.
If I had to guess, I would say it’s not like what you see in the movies.. Shocker, I know. If I had to guess, I’d say that maybe the answers come with time. As you learn more about yourself, your needs, weaknesses and strengths- you figure out where you belong and who you belong with. Or rather, who you’re supposed to fight for. Sometimes, in the end, maybe you don’t get the fairytale happy ending with the person who makes your heart skip a beat, no matter how much time has gone by. Maybe you get a life with the person who makes you feel like you have both feet on the ground. Is it possible to find both? I don’t know. Maybe I never will. As much as I’d like to, however, I haven’t given up hope just yet…